The burial day of a loved one can be a particularly overwhelming time in one’s life. In the case that one has to deal with the details of making the day successful, on top of dealing with the grief, this can only make the day harder and more stressful than it already is.
For this reason, we have a compiled a few helpful tips to try make it easier for you.
Have a program articulating how you would love the activities to run in the day. Be concise and follow it. Depending on the situation, you would rather remove than add activities. This does not have to be put on paper pr print by you. You can delegate as long as you have the items and how you want them to flow.
Ensure that the program starts in good time. Avoid pushing the program to start later in the day if there is not any particular reason for not starting early. All activities can be scheduled to start as early as possible.
Once you segment the activities you want to run through the day, assign people to singularly handle each activity to ensure that all you want included is included. These should have been assigned beforehand, so that on the burial day they are the go-to people for each activity. Once roles are assigned rest easy and let the persons in charge deal with all arising matters to avoid piling on stress to yourself.
Have one person to oversee and coordinate all the activities, while managing time and ensuring the program is adhered to as desired. In some instances, you can hire a professional to handle the day’s program coordination, as they will apply tact and skill in the running of the day.
Make each activity clear, for example don’t just write Speeches, but rather articulate who is going to make the speech,if they are three persons, get their specific names into the program. It will avoid guess work at the last minute and encourage orderliness.
Be sure to communicate to all involved parties about their inclusion in the day’s activities so that nobody is caught unaware or unprepared for what is expected of them. It can turn out very dramatic if for example some included members feel ambushed, unprepared or uncomfortable to speak before a crowd without prior warning or information.
Ensure there is a time allocation for each activity within the program to avoid overspending time on any particular item on the program. If possible, have the Master of Ceremony be the timekeeper so that the time boundaries are not overstepped.
As you allocate time, allow for some time allowance between activities to cater for any eventuality and so avoid running the programme far beyond the projected end time.
While family always means well, they too will be grieving and probably stop every once in a while, to help that auntie or uncle, hence slow down their job for the day. Solution is to try have a more neutral person help handle the program for the day. A close friend may come in handy in this instance; they are close enough to understand your needs, yet still far enough to objectively handle the matter at hand.
For the actual details of the burial, whether its media, food, provision of sound, the master of ceremony etc., it would be quite a relief to work with professionals as it will reduce the amount of time you are doing footwork and follow up to ensues all goes well. The single most important advantage is that when you’re dealing with professionals, each person knows what is expected of them and it will avoid unnecessary conflict when you are having to deal with relatives who may have volunteered to help with these activities.
These are simple ideas that are meant to help you make quick and conclusive decisions as you plan for the burial day of a loved one, or as you reach out to get assistance for the same. Anyone can appreciate the emotions that we may all go through in trying to balance the reality of lose, against the practical things that must happen on the burial day. There is always a way out no matter what we face in life, and what’s more? There is always that one person or persons available to stand with us in the most difficult seasons of life.
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