Planning a wedding can be stressful at times, and dealing with in-laws who want to be involved in the process can add an extra layer of complexity. In-laws have often been synonymous to trouble and intrusion in the minds of people and especially for brides -to-be; it can be a particularly hard nut to crack.
Sometimes it really is because you are probably trying to find the balance between being true to yourself and achieving the vision you have for your wedding versus being kind and accommodating towards the in-laws when they are particularly trying to impose their agenda or ideas, that you are not necessarily agreed to.
I would say nobody is wrong, it is just a matter of everyone expressing themselves in the right way and a consensus being reached in the case of differing opinions.
We have come up with a few suggestions to help handle the situation, hopefully it can be a quick go to for this:
Start by having a meeting with them to discuss their expectations and boundaries. This will help establish clear communication and avoid misunderstandings later on. Listen to their input and concerns, and be honest about what you are comfortable with. Remember, the meeting is not you summoning them; it is rather that all parties are creating an opportunity to talk and share their thoughts and ideas to avoid stumbling upon others, down the line of planning and execution, and in the worst case, carrying grudges into the new marriage. I can assure you that you do not want this!
Assign specific tasks to your in-laws that they can take ownership of and feel included in the planning process. This will make them feel valued and involved, while also giving you more control over the overall plan.
Staying in the gray will not help you. Set clear boundaries and communicate them assertively when necessary to avoid overstepping. It’s important to be firm but respectful when dealing with difficult situations. Remember that it’s your wedding day, and you have the final say in all decisions. This can be understood if communicated in love and respect.
It could be a great idea to include your in-laws in tastings and venue visits, and any other worthwhile meeting to make them feel part of the process. This can be a fun and exciting way to bond and make memories together. Remember that you are joining this family after all, make it fun.
It may be hard to refuse or accept ideas from the family if you do not even have a clue about who they are and their authority in the family. Best way to go about it is to plan a “meet the family” event to break the ice and get to know each other better. This can help develop a stronger relationship and foster a more positive dynamic moving forward. It can be easy to know how to say Yes or No when you are now relating as family and not strangers.
Consider bringing in a middle or neutral third party, such as a wedding planner, to mediate any conflicts or disagreements. They can provide an objective perspective and help find solutions that work for everyone. If a planner is not an option you can surely find someone who can be neutral and/or objective to accompany you.
Be open to compromise and willing to listen to their suggestions, but ultimately make decisions that align with your vision as a couple. This is your special day, and you should prioritize what’s important to you. This will reduce unnecessary conflict, while each party gets their ideas heard and agreement reached.
If your in-laws are contributing financially, be clear about what their money will be used for and set expectations accordingly. This will help avoid any misunderstandings or conflicts later on. All this will also have to be done while maintaining mutual respect.
Take breaks from wedding planning and spend quality time with your in-laws doing non-wedding related activities. This will help strengthen your relationship and remind you of the bigger picture. The Marriage!
Remember that your in-laws are family, not enemies, and try to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. This process should be considered a great opportunity to build closer relationships and create lasting memories together. Remember the wedding day is just a single day, but you are signing up for a lifetime with this family.