Apart from burning, fire is also used for purification. Gold is refined through being subjected to fire. Molten glass, used to make some of the most amazing pieces of art, is only possible when subjected to extremely high temperatures. Now how about relationships? I dare say that until your relationship is subjected to the fires of difficulties, challenges, and pressures of life, you may not know just how strong your bond is, to the person you are going to make the marriage covenant with on the altar. How you know is when you come out the other side together; no matter what state you both are in but as long as you are hand in hand on the other side of the flames, then you can surely know that your bind has been cemented.
In a sense the wedding planning process can be an amazing place to know your truest hearts as a couple towards each other; especially when things are not particularly going the way you would both love them to go. This should be an opportunity to not only purify your friendship, but also refine it till it sparkles for the journey ahead. Many marriage counselors have often agreed that friendship in marriage will make it thrive even in the face of the most difficult challenges, and this will have to start somewhere.
We suggest that during the planning of your wedding you have a golden opportunity to do so. Here are a few suggestions on how you can work on your friendship when the planning gets tough.
Up until this point you may or may not have figured what ticks off your partner. But if indeed the pressure is evidently high, there will be an obvious breaking point when one or both of you gets weary, angry or even frustrated. Well, this is an excellent time to find out what can make the other person relax. Instead of getting angry as well, and even thinking this person is acting immaturely, which is possible under the circumstances, you could try figure out what can ease the situation. Feel free to plan activities or even prepare a gift or a surprise get away that should outrightly make them forget the present troubles and instantly put a smile on their face.
When you work this way, you will not only have helped your partner with relaxing in the present situation, but you will have also inched in closer to being considered a comforter, considerate and even a treasured and trusted friend. Such gestures demonstrate genuine care of one towards the other.
Since the good book clearly states that two do not walk together unless they are agreed, this is definitely a wonderful approach to solidifying your friendship during the planning. You are a couple so you are ideally in agreement, but conflict may arise especially on differing opinions, say with your planning committee. Sometimes you as a couple may also have opposite ideas about things, but please aim to be on the same side at all times. Try to understand where the other is coming from, silently persuade each other in these times so that you always make sure that when all is said and done you are on the same team on any contentious issue.
In pursuing team power what you are essentially doing is getting to know each other better, even to the minutest details of likes and dislikes in terms of communication styles, personal ideas, strengths and weaknesses; it will surely give you veto power when you end up on the same team after starting off from opposite sides on any given matter and ultimately strengthen your relationship.
Through the planning you have both probably realized that you need to communicate quite often. The decisions that need to be made are numerous, the calls from family, purchases and downpayments to be made aren’t sparing you either. So, your discussions will be mainly about choices and money. These two things can get sensitive in how you address them, and your personalities and tact in how you go about these will also become apparent, one to another. It is a great thing because they are opportunities to understand how your partner tackles issues, as you each also learn how to speak your minds respectfully to one another, get insight into how you can address issues with your future spouse and so forth.
Depending on how keen you are, you can also pick what pleases or displeases your partner. How you can make up for oops! moments for what you did or said against each other, can be learnt through this period. These seemingly irrelevant things become the building blocks to a stronger bond of friendship that is now also crowned with understanding and trust.