There is a saying in my mother tongue that directly translated, simply says that you cannot go visiting a home flying your hands; plainly put is that you cannot go empty handed to someone’s home when visiting. This same idea is embraced across all cultures and communities in Kenya so that, whether it is a packet of milk, sugar or the esteemed staple food, “Ugali”, carried in the form of corn flour as a gift, or anything else for that matter, people will generally not show up at your home empty handed. This unwritten rule goes without saying whether you show up as a planned guest or an impromptu visit.
So, such is the importance placed when families are sending off their daughters and sons in marriage. During the wedding celebrations there will be special gifts prepared for this newly wed couples. Mostly in consideration of them starting a new family, loved ones will prepare gifts that should ideally start them off as brand-new family. You are basically visiting a new family and you cannot go empty handed!
Proper etiquette is not just important on delicate matters as in eating but across the board. One could easily say that as long as a gift comes from the heart then it doesn’t matter what you give. True that it should come from the heart! But it is also important to add that there is a possibility to treat the gifting process rather casually, and the attitude may be easily read by the recipients of the gift.
A few thoughts that can be considered as part of the gifting etiquette is what we will list here below, just to help us have a little more decorum when gifting our loved ones.
In the recent times couples will often include their gifting requirements within their wedding invites. Some couples will request for gifts in cash and not kind and will go ahead to indicate the channels through which the cash gift can be sent. It is therefore paramount that we do not dismiss what has been kindly requested on the invite as part of honoring the couples wishes.
Technology has made a lot of things quite easy. Couples can create an online gift registry which essentially will help their guests not double buy gifts. Essentially this is the couples wish list which they will go ahead to make available to their guests through a link. The main ideas is that once you click on the item you are wishing to buy them, it gets automatically deleted from the system so that subsequent visitors will not see that line item and so will go ahead to pick something else in the system.
The other side to this is that the couple is also able to make a quick audit and manage expectation of gifts that will come their way. It’s a win a win situation.
Another helpful tip is to chip into a group gift. This always becomes more meaningful as a group of friends or family can come together and agree on a gift that will have the most impact on their loved one’s new life together. There is in no shame in looking for a group that you can be part of in purchasing a group gift.
There is no telling just how this can come in handy for a couple, especially after spending money on the entire wedding process. A cash gift to a loved ones can really go a long in the midst of such major transitions. So, if you feel stuck as to what to get, a cash gift is definitely worth considering. Albeit you, it will be a relief when they have come from honeymoon and opening gifts meet any amount at all. You can be sure this gift is timeless.
It is apparent that everyone wants to give their loved ones meaningful gifts, whichever the occasion, and weddings are part of these. In Kenya, there are more than 42 cultures represented by the tribes and subtribes exhibited in this culturally diverse country. It may be impossible to write about how each culture sends off their brides and grooms as they become joined to form their own individual families, but we can definitely share some common gifts often presented to the newlyweds and the cultural meaning behind these gifts.
The Agikuyu community are known to send off their brides with a bed as the gift presented to the couple by the bride’s family. The main meaning behind this is that the girl is literally been sent off with her bed so that symbolically, she no longer has space in her parents’ home as a girl. The bed is now for her and her husband and should be permanently there.
Mostly presented by the women to the newlywed couple. These are mainly friends or family who are sending a message that the couple should keep each other warm.
In the Luo Culture, when a woman is married the literal words to this are, “ Dhi tedo” which literally means gone to cook. So, when a girl has gone to cook the best symbol is cooking pots and so grandmas and mother figures will send off the girl with cooking pots to symbolize exactly this.
The Jiko and/or oven can also often be presented to the couple especially to equip the woman as she now goes to start cooking for her own family.
There are generally so many ideas for a wedding gift. We have listed some quick ones just in case you are stuck.
Now, you are not restricted to these ideas. They are only meant to point you in the right direction!
As earlier mentioned, technology has made a lot of things easy to do and achieve. There are tools at your disposal to make event this process not difficult at all. It is very easy to get stressed over what to get that special person on their wedding day, and these quick tips should be helpful before you crack your head open over the matter.
a. The Couple’s Registry
b. Couple’s wedding Website
c. The wedding invite