In Kenya, we have 42 tribes. These tribes have their individual cultural norms that define them as a people; they follow a set of acceptable traditions, occupy a specific geographical location and speak one language. We leave to your imagination the kind of cultural diversity that is present within this single country, perhaps may be what makes it unique.
Unfortunately, though this may be seen as a level of richness, it sometimes becomes the very thing that divides Kenyans and has caused great strife over the decades, especially in the post-independence era. But the people are continually becoming more conscious of this and trying to create ways to build bridges to make these differences beautiful and more beneficial. This has continued to happen intentionally but also naturally, and this is how:
In the searching for a better livelihood, pursuit of education and formal jobs, men and women have traversed county borders, exporting their own cultures to other places. This has especially happened when people met fell in love and eventually got married. Marriage has continued to happen between people of different tribes and ethnicities, and we can say of marriage that it is a beautiful union of two individuals who vow to spend their lives together, defying these tribal differences.
In light of this however, it is important to note that it is never a smooth sailing especially since marriage in Africa is between two families as well, and not just the sons and daughters who have chosen each other. This always poses a great challenge, and it becomes difficult to navigate these cultural differences and break the barriers into a happy marriage.
Here are some ideas that can help couples navigate cultural differences in marriage:
Communication is key in any relationship, and it is even more crucial when it comes to cultural differences. Couples should have an open and honest conversation about their cultural backgrounds, beliefs, and values. This will help them understand each other’s perspectives better and find common ground. It’s important to remember that communication is not just talking but also listening. Couples should be willing to listen to each other’s stories and experiences without judgment and try to see things from their partner’s perspective.
Approach it as an opportunity to enrich your knowledge about who your partner is in as far as their cultural roots are concerned. Learning about each other’s culture can be a fun and exciting experience for you as a couple. Attending cultural events, trying out new foods, and exploring each other’s traditions are ways that can help you appreciate and respect each other’s differences. Learning about each other’s cultures will definitely help you understand each other’s historical and social context of the beliefs and customs that you individually hold. It definitely will lead to a deeper appreciation and respect for each other’s heritage as opposed to living by making assumptions about each other, which can easily turn ugly. Avoid all this and learn; Knowledge is power.
It is essential to compromise in a marriage, especially when it comes to cultural differences. As a couple, you should be willing to compromise on traditions that are not compatible with your partner’s beliefs or values. Remember you are meeting as adults who have almost become set in their ways, and their belief system is part of it. Being rigid and uncompromising is definitely a highway to strife.
Therefore, work towards finding a middle ground which can then help create a harmonious relationship. For example, if your spouse has a tradition that conflicts with your beliefs or values, try to find a compromise that respects both perspectives.
Respect is vital in any relationship, and it is even more critical when it comes to cultural differences. It is unwise to choose to settle with someone with a different cultural background with the assumption that what you do not like, you will forcefully change. This will bear bitter fruits only.
When you chose your partner, then you also made the choice respect who they were and where they came from. Respect each other’s cultural practices and beliefs and avoid making derogatory comments or judgments. It’s important to remember that cultural differences do not make one culture superior to another. Every culture has its strengths and weaknesses, and you should therefore try as a couple to appreciate each other’s unique qualities. You can also agree on what you want to retain and what you want to do away with as you are starting your own family, and respectfully so.
Sometimes, navigating cultural differences in marriage can be challenging, and couples might need outside help. Seeking the help of a therapist or a counselor can be beneficial in resolving conflicts and finding solutions to cultural differences. A professional can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to discuss their concerns and work towards a resolution.
In conclusion, navigating cultural differences in marriage can be challenging, but it is not impossible. Couples should communicate openly, educate themselves, compromise, respect each other, and seek help when needed. By doing so, they can create a happy and healthy marriage that embraces each other’s cultural differences. Remember, cultural differences can be a source of strength in a relationship, and couples should celebrate their diversity.