I was seven years old, a little girl excited to carry a flower basket, adorning an off-white layered lace dress, with red pump shoes to match; I am sure this was the trend back in the 90s when I was growing up. If I recollect these memories correctly, I feel like I was in my happy place since I had been chosen to be a flower girl at this wedding. I am not sure whose wedding it was, but will definitely check with my mum.
The memory of being a flower girl stuck with me. Many years later, as a young adult, I have had the pleasure to accompany some of my close friends and even my sister, as part of their bridal entourage. I must admit that these experiences have all been unique in their ways, but in each case quite exciting as well.
The question I have found myself asking is what role I really played in these loved ones’ weddings, well, apart from dressing up and showing up! As I remain anticipating my own wedding, I wondered if I would choose me as part of my bridal team? Do my friends look back with regret or feel pure bliss that I walked with them as a trusted friend?
I think the latter is what every bride should feel when they are choosing their bridal party. Friends that have walked with them, seen them laugh and cry; and now on this tremendously important journey, they are looking for support and comfort from these same friends. Probably to witness them get into their marriage covenants, cheer them on, and just celebrate the new phase of life with them. This should apply to the groom as well as he chooses his groomsmen, and not just to parade them as eligible bachelors!
The bride and groom have the responsibility of selecting their bridal party. This decision is not to be taken lightly, and surely those chosen should be individuals who are closest to you as the bride or groom and can provide support and assistance throughout the wedding planning process, to the wedding day and happily so.
A keynote is that it is easy to walk with people you generally agree with; even in the face of differing opinions, you should still be able to listen to each other and get to a consensus. This bridal party will be your support system, so choose a team that will be adding to and not taking away from you. And this is meant not in terms of just material support but also emotional, spiritual and psychological.
The number of members in a bridal party will boil down to your own preference. Though it may turn to be a particularly difficult task,and especially when close friends and members of the family want to choose themselves into your party. It can be a daunting task and one that may be marred by people’s negative emotions and attitudes wondering why they have not been chosen.
This should however not make you change your wedding plan and vision as far as the bridal party number is concerned. You can lovingly reject a proposal as you also do not want to burn bridges.
Here are the main components of a bridal party:
This is the right hand to the Groom. It’s always a trusted friend to the groom, probably one who has walked the same journey and so understands just what may be going on in and around the groom, enough to be able to stand with him. The best man will tend to the groom’s needs as he awaits his bride at the altar. The groom is probably nervous so the best man is really cheering him on, getting him water or handing him a handkerchief if and when he needs one, holding the microphone as he recites his vows or while presenting the bride with the ring and so on. So, while a big bridal entourage may not be necessary, to have a best man is of great importance. In fact, you can drop the entire bridal party but keep the best couple.
The best man is responsible for assisting the groom with wedding planning and preparation. He is to help the groom choose his attire, plan the bachelor party, and assist the groom with any other wedding-related tasks. On the wedding day, the best man is to ensure the groom arrives on time, holds the wedding rings during the ceremony, and gives the first toast at the wedding reception.
Close to the Best man’s role to a groom is the maid of honor to the bride. Similarly taking care of her needs, especially the emotional needs which tends to run particularly high on the morning of the wedding. It is possible that the reality of one officially leaving her parents’ home to be joined to her husband, comes into very clear perspective on such a morning. Buckets of tears can easily be collected in these scenarios.
Additionally, the maid of honor is responsible for assisting the bride with wedding planning and preparation. She is to help the bride choose her wedding dress, plan and host the bridal shower as well as assist the bride with any other wedding-related tasks. The wedding day becomes particularly more significant as she is needing to assist the bride with getting ready, and on time, tending to her as she walks down the aisle, holding her bouquet during the ceremony, and at the signing the marriage license.
The best man and best maid are the main witnesses to this union and signatories as witnesses on your marriage certificate; and so they do have key roles in the bridal party. In ideal cases, these two people are your mentors in marriage and can generally guide you as you navigate the new territory of a married life.
This team essentially adds life to the party; mostly they come in pairs and not necessarily as individuals who know each other but rather friends to either the bride or groom or even both. They mainly give moral support, and can also play key roles in the planning process. Though they may only do this before the wedding day, for the wedding it may be difficult to support operationally. However, they should assist the maid of honor and best man with any tasks necessary to ensure the wedding day runs smoothly.
They usually add a little flavor to the wedding; a little cuteness and charm may be witnessed as they usher in the bride. Walking in front of her as they create a carpet of petals on the aisle, has always been the main task of the flower girls. It gets even cuter when it’s a toddler age who may get distracted by the things and the familiar faces gazing at her.
They similarly add charm and cuteness to the wedding as they come bearing the rings especially at the point of the vows exchange, or up ahead the bride as symbol of ushering her to the waiting groom.
In conclusion, the roles of the bridal party are essential in making a wedding day successful. Each member of the bridal party has specific roles and responsibilities that are crucial to ensuring the wedding ceremony and reception run smoothly. It is important to select individuals who are committed to fulfilling their roles and are supportive of you as the bride or groom, throughout the wedding planning process.