If you are an African and particularly a Kenyan, then you know how people love “Sherehes”, anywhere there is feasting and celebration, everyone undoubtedly wants to be a part of it. The slang Fear of missing out (FOMO),was even coined from this anxious feeling that people are having a good time without you; remedy, be present.
When the COVID pandemic hit between the years 2020 and 2021, one of the hardest things for Kenyans, in addition to the painful losses of loved ones, was the fact that people could no longer freely gather. Whether for a celebration or even for mourning, the numbers were limited to just a handful of people attending any particular event.
But thank goodness, we can safely say that it’s all in the past; and now we are back to the numerous numbers at ceremonies, especially weddings. The only deterring factor to the issue of numbers, may just be the thickness or thinness of your wallet; otherwise you can have as big a wedding as you possibly want.
What are you aiming at when making this guest list; here are a few tips
People generally live to make those that they love happy, and this is great. However, it also comes with possibilities of heartaches and heartbreaks when you fail to meet your loved one’s expectations. For a monumental activity such as a wedding, everyone expects to be part of it. But this is not entirely possible as you will have to work within your means.
It is best to first understand what your wedding budget is, and work out your guest list from there. Though you may need to brace yourself for those who will take offense for not being invited, it is the necessary sacrifice to make. This can still be done and communicated in love.
It is surely better to have a number of guests that you can take care of than to have everyone invited, only for them to come and lack seats or have no food to share with them.
You can later choose as a couple, to find ways to make up for the family and friends who did not make it to witness your nuptials. This done with consideration may just be the balm that each heart needs.
The general rule of thumb is that your immediate family must come first; that is both your parents, grandparents and siblings. But so that there is a fair representation of your guests you can lay out a simple segmentation plan. Please note that this is not meant to be discriminatory but rather representative of each part of the other family members and friends. This may just help you narrow your guest list to the appropriate number as per your budget provision.
The biggest mistake is leaving things to chance. For example, if your catering budget is intended to take care of 150 guests, it would be unwise to send out 300 invites and assume that half the number may or may not show up. It is very important that you send invites for a more realistic number and allow yourself time to follow up and confirm attendance. It is a tedious process but one that will not keep you on the edge of your seat the whole time you are sitting at the High table on your wedding day, as you watch in disbelief the numbers and caterers sending away guests for lack of food, for example.
If you do not clearly state your requirements on the invite, then you are not justified to getting displeased when people show up with plus ones and children for example. In recent times people have become more cultured and so they will honor what has been requested of them. If you state in your card that the card admits one, they will more often than not, stick to that. So let your card be closed and to the point. Add a concise phrase like, ‘ This card admits One.’
If you are inviting people from overseas it would be considerate of you to let them know early in advance, thus giving them ample time to organize their travel plans. Otherwise you may lock out available people from coming to the wedding in the name of a group that may or may not make it.
RSVPs are more of the invitees taking initiative to respond to the invite. If they do this faithfully, it will help you have a clear indication of who’s coming and who’s not coming. So if they actually RSVP in good time you will be able to follow through with your guests and fill up any remaining slots. So, it is important to prompt the guests to RSVP in the invite.