Planning a wedding can stress and overwhelm even the best of us. No wonder we see anger overcome the happiest couples when the weight of the details of planning becomes too much to bear. You know it is not that one thing on the day that will push you to the edge, but a pile of everything leading to your big day; if not managed well.
Whilst we don’t have a magic bullet, we’ve got a few tips on how couples can release this negative emotion and find the planning process therapeutic instead of a trigger for anger up until the wedding day.
Do all your research at the beginning before calling potential suppliers. Get inspiration, have an idea of what you want. Involve your partner every step as the wedding should reflect both of your personalities as a couple. One sided decision can cause unnecessary conflict or rage as well as uniformed decisions made.
If possible, involve a professional right from the beginning. Don’t assume you know what you need just because you’ve spent hours on Pinterest and Instagram. If you cannot afford one, consult other couples that have had successful weddings and get advice or tips. Do not over consult though, as many differing opinions can only end in confusion and dissatisfaction. Failure to do this wisely, may cause anger even against oneself for a wrong move made.
Have a budget. Do not venture out to start paying for things without knowing what your overall budget is and how you intend to split it on various items. Once you come up with a budget, stick to it. Do not budget on finances that do not exist like pledges and promises from family members and friends. Money, especially lack of, can attract unwanted emotions.
Set your priorities right. As a couple, know what aspect of your wedding matters to you the most and what you’re willing to sacrifice. If it’s a certain hard to get venue and you need to have that locked or that dream wedding gown from overseas, then check off those first. Also, work systematically, don’t for example pay for the venue when your wedding date is not firmed up and the officiant has confirmed availability. Being proactive instead of reactive will certainly take off undue pressure that may lead to anger.
Use a simple word document or an Excel sheet or any other tool that can help you keep your priorities in check and also track your progress. Enlist the help of someone who can help you create one that can help you stay organized. Preparation is the best policy. Check off what you have done as you progress.
The more realistic you are, the more achievable your dreams, the less the stress. By all means dream but don’t be unrealistic.
Think of alternatives or substitutes in case you do not get exactly what you want. You want to be flexible, not rigid; otherwise, frustration can easily set in, and then anger.
The guest list can be a major pain point as you will most likely find yourself having to make some difficult cuts. Do this one early. With your significant other, decide which family members and friends you both must have and stick to the number of people your budget allows. Be on the same page and be ready to deal with different emotions from the would-be guest/s, at least according to them.
Minimize the involvement of too many people when it comes to major decision making. You want to avoid many voices in your head in order to keep your vision clear. By all means recruit trusted family members and friends for other tasks where you need extra hands but maintain veto power on all decisions.
Step away from the planning every time you feel overwhelmed, do something relaxing, completely unrelated to the wedding and only get back on track when you’re completely refreshed. This will ensure your sanity is safeguarded at all times.
Vendors will make or break your dream wedding. Ensure you get reputable ones that will bring your vision to life. Arrange for a meet and greet for all vendors and bring them early on board to build a rapport with each other. What this will achieve for you is harmony. It will take off the pressure. You do not want all vendors looking for you for things they can help each other with.
If you know you worry about details, and anything off can trigger you to anger, then have a trusted Co-coordinator on the ground on the day of the wedding to worry about this. Let them oversee all these details and deal with all on-site issues that may come up.
Turn a blind eye to any mistakes you may spot on D-day. In Short, forgive quickly. Don’t allow yourself to get hung up on that one odd looking petal on the aisle or the centerpiece that looks half an inch shorter than you wanted. Let it pass.
Remember you’re getting married, and your guests are there to celebrate with you, not judge you. Give them a happy couple not an angry, stressed out one. Keep calm and enjoy the day!